Conversation between my 5 yr old son and me today.

Preston-mom can I have a new toy from the store.
Me-No not today wait till your birthday.
Preston-I will just ask dad since he is the boss of me.
Me-Go right ahead but he will say no and by the way Im totally the boss
Preston-oh yeah what makes you the boss.
Me-Stretch marks, painful hips, and droopy boobs thats what.