My wall

Have you ever had one of those days where you burst into tears and you cant hold them back?  Yeah my day was today.  I had another doctor appointment to see if they can figure out what to do about my lady parts.  Ive been dealing with some issues ever since I hemorrhaged.  Surgery is an option but back to crying for now.  Anyways before my lady parts appointment I had a mammogram set up.  I havent shared this with anyone other than my hubby but I have been feeling uncomfortableness on my left side under my arm so I was scheduled to get it looked at today.  The appointment had been set up for 2 months.  Because Pearson isnt allowed in the room for the mammogram that meant Lowel needed to come to my appt so I pick him up at work and we head across town to the doctor for a one stop do it all while Im here check me high and low kind of appointment.  The nurse proceeds to take me back into the room asks me why Im there and a few other questions such as my last pregnancy.  I proceed to tell her 4 months ago and she says she cant do the exam then.  I informed her I wasnt breastfeeding and its my decision and I want one.  She begins to tell me that she cant due to the fact that milk may still be in there...blah blah blah.  I let her know I have an uncomfortableness in the boobie area and she continues to tell me she cant.  I lost it....big time.  I start yelling at her Im 38 years old, I made the choice to get it checked,  that was not told to me during the set up of the appt and that its stupid reasons like this that keep women from coming to get checkups.  I apparently was still mad because then I said no wonder so many women dont even know they have breast cancer because they get turned away when they want to get things checked out.  Insert tears at this point.  I know it sounds bad but I just couldn't stop the anger and the tears from coming, they were building up.  I have dealt with so much stuff since being pregnant and I wake up in pain everyday.  No one even knows half the stuff  I have been dealing with because I keep it to myself for the most part.  Some of it family issues, some of it mental and physical pain and more that I cant discuss.   I take daily pain medicine. I got off oxycodene and now Im on several aspirin a day, I still have postpartum depression and the doctor and I discussed that as well and my options.  It was just to much today, too much stuff and  too many issues to deal with.  Heres to hoping tomorrow is a better day. 

I havent been on my laptop lately and its hard to post from my ipad so today Im getting caught up on my thankfulness.

November 3rd,
  Im thankful for my marriage and my husband who loves me unconditional.  He takes care of me when Im sick, he helps with the kids so I can get some rest and he is a great father.   He makes me laugh and challenges me in a good way to do something I want to do or go after my dreams.  He and I have had to go through a lot during our marriage and yet we still come out loving one another even more than the day we met.  He is a good man!

November 4th,  Im Thankful for my life.  I love our life here in CW and the town we live in has been a blessing to us.  My husband works hard so that we can have a nice house and we are very involved in the community we live in.  Its a great town.

November 5th,  Im thankful for Coke....I know thats silly but without it I wouldnt be able to function sometimes.  It gets me through sleepless days, headaches and exhaustion.  I love me some coke.

November 6th-Im thankful for my friends, we have a great circle of friends that we do stuff with all the times.  The husbands do things as the girls as well and have our times when we go separate ways with our friends but always come back together all as families.  Its a great feeling to have friends that are like family.  I love that my friends have good marriages, good sex lives with their spouses (yes thats important) and we like to be around each other.  We get together 1-2 times a week and they are blessings. 

November 7th- Im thankful to be able to stay at home and not worry about anything.  My husband works hard so that I dont have to worry about a job.  I love being home with my kids, not worrying about a sitter and having to juggle it all.

November 8th-Im thankful for my family.  I dont get to see them often but they are always there.  I have a wonderful sister, brother, mom and dad.  They support me , love me and we cant wait to see each other.  I love talking to them on the phone and seeing them on facetime so that its like Im right there with them even when Im a couple states away.

November thankful

November 2nd
  I am thankful for my sweet baby boy Pearson.  Just when I thought we were done having kids we were blessed with another boy.  If they could all be as good, sweet and loving as him I would have a dozen more just like him.  He is a pure joy and completes our family.

November Thanks

For the month of November, the month of Thankfulness, I will randomly write what Im thankful for. 

November 1st-I am thankful for my sweet son, Preston, who makes me laugh everyday.  When I asked him what big item did he want for Christmas this year his answer was giants. 

I told him a while back in kindergarten that if he got straight A's from here on out that we would buy him a new car.  Today he brought his report card home with straight A's and said I will take a camaro like bumblebee please.   I may regret telling him that.  Here's to 3 years of straight A's and counting...atleast he is counting.